In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

Psalm 118:5-6 (NLT)

I'm not an expert at resolving stress. In fact, the only reason I'm writing this article is because stress is such a normal part of my life. So instead of writing from my expertise, I'm writing from my experiences, and I hope some of the lessons I've learned can encourage you if you deal with stress.

Usually stress shows up in a few key areas in my life:

• Finances

• Workplace

• Family

• Marriage

• Education

• Health

• Housing

While I haven't discovered a "holy grail" that completely removes stress, I have learned methods for helping me evaluate and reduce it significantly, no matter what area in life it shows up. I hope the methods I use for myself are encouraging to you!

1. I evaluate my thought patterns
My thoughts directly influence my feelings of stress, so if I want to manage my stress levels, I need to take inventory of what my thoughts are.

Most of the time the reason I'm feeling stressed is because I'm telling myself things that may or may not be true. For example, if I have more work than usual and I have a hard deadline coming up, I might tell myself, "this is impossible. You'll never accomplish this in time." This may or may not be true, but if I leave this thought unchecked, then I've put myself in a lose-lose situation. If my work is impossible and I won't accomplish it in time, then what hope do I have? Why wouldn't I feel stressed?

Once I've evaluated my thought patterns, I move on to the next step.

2. I get to the root of my thought patterns
My thoughts that contribute to my stress normally are based on assumptions that really don't have a basis. This isn't always the case, and there are other situations in life where my thoughts are based on absolute facts. But when it comes to stress, 99% of the time, they are rooted in unfounded beliefs.

When I really drill in to my thoughts, I'll find a root belief that is fueling my thoughts. It might sound something like "It's impossible because this is twice the amount of work I usually handle. I won't accomplish it because I don't have what it takes to do so."

Once I've identified the roof beliefs fueling my thoughts, I then move to the next step.

3. I weigh out the evidence supporting those beliefs
Usually those root beliefs are pretty wild and exaggerated. Beliefs like "This is twice the amount of work" or "I don't have what it takes", probably aren't true at all. By weighing out the evidence for them though, it's easier for me to keep untrue beliefs in check and extract the truth from them. I might ask myself "what are the facts that I know for certain about my workload?" which my response might be:

"Well, normally I have 10 projects to complete within two weeks. However, currently I'm dealing with two bigger projects extra, and I only have one week to accomplish them all."

In this process, I've taken my assumptions in step two and have distilled them into two facts that are more clearer to understand:

One: I have 12 projects instead of 10
Two: I have 1 week instead of 2

Those are the facts that I focus on. I leave out the negative beliefs and assumptions about myself that fuel my stress, and I take these two facts and move onto step four:

4. I surrender the facts to God
As a follower of Jesus, this is the most important part of handling stress. I go to God in prayer and say something like:

"Jesus, I realize I have 2 extra projects and one week less to accomplish this. It feels impossible in this moment, but I believe with you, all things are possible. I ask you to give me the wisdom and strength to be resourceful in deciding how to handle this situation. I pray you would take my stress as I hand it off to you. Amen."

From there, I remind myself of the following facts I know to be true about God:

• He will never leave me nor forsake me - Deuteronomy 31:8

• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength - Philippians 4:13

• God cares about my anxieties - 1 Peter 5:7

• He will make my path straight if I trust in Him - Proverbs 3:5-6

• God will help me succeed if I commit my plans to him - Proverbs 16:3

Once I've gone through this step, my stress level usually goes from a soaring 100 and closer to a 40 on the scale. As I invite the Holy Spirit into my situation, I finish with the last step:

5. Plan through practical next steps I can take
With a lot of prayer, I began addressing the facts with some potential next steps that can act as a solution.:

Step 1: How can I break these up into small, digestible steps?
I can take each project and break them down into tinier steps to help me realize exactly what needs to be done. This act of breaking the facts down into smaller action items leads to clarity, which is an amazing antidote to uncertainty. What if we were to apply this to other facts that normally stress us out? Maybe they would look like the following:

• This exam is going to require that I review 10 chapters of my text book.

• In order to save up for that $3,000 car payment, I can contribute $100 per month to my savings account

• To be successful at my business, I have to have 50 new clients

• To make my marriage healthier, we both need to work on our communication skills

• To complete this project, I have to gather the requirements from the client, pass it through production and send out the Proof - a three step process.

Step 2: Link each piece to a smaller time table
After that, I try my best to link those smaller steps with bite-size time tables. What would this look like if linked a time table to the smaller action items above?

• I am going to review 5 chapters on Monday and 5 on Tuesday. On Wednesday I will skim all 10 chapters one more time.

• I'd like to raise $3,000 in 12 months, which means I will need an extra $150 each month from some where

• I'd like 50 customers in 3 months, which means I need to book about 4 customers each week

• I need to read a marriage book within one month, or schedule a marriage counseling session before the week is over

• I will work on gathering requirements from 9-11am, focus on production from 1-3pm, an send out all the proofs from 3-4pm. I will work late from 4-6pm max if needed, or come in early the next day at 7am.

Whenever I link a small action item to a small time table, I create a very clear and measurable map ahead for me to follow.

Stress feeds on both my unfounded thoughts and beliefs, and it also feeds off of uncertainty and unclear expectations.

Step 3: Be honest with other people and myself
Sometimes identifying the next steps can be difficult to do. If I feel like this is difficult, I will try getting coffee with a trusted friend or a person from work who I know can support me and wants to see me succeed.

Within the context of my work, I know I can trust my boss to listen to my concerns and offer helpful advice on how we can pivot to accomplish the work needed. There have also been times where I just need to be honest about my capacity and what I can handle. What would being honest look like in the situations above?

• If I'm going to review those chapters, than I need to tell my friends that I have to skip our game night on Wednesday so I have more time to study.

• If I need $150 more each month, than I either need to cut back 15% on my spending habits, or stat a side hustle until I meet my goal

• Realistically, I can only prospect for customers on weekends which will lead closer to 20 new customers in three months, which means I need to supplement my income in the mean time

• I need to be honest with my spouse on how I feel about our marriage, or, be proactive and reach out to my church for marriage support.

• I can either let me boss know that I need extra help for this week or overtime, or, I can reach out to two of my customers and let them know the project will be a little late.

Which leads to this concluding thought - most of the deadlines and urgent situations that stress me out are due to me saying yes when I should have said no, not setting clear expectations or boundaries with others, and making excuses instead of investing my effort into finding solutions.

So in summary, I manage my stress by doing the following:

1. I evaluate my thought patterns to see what I'm telling myself about the situation that's causing me to stress out

2. I drill down and identify the root belief causing these thoughts. Normally they are exaggerated ideas or assumptions that really have no basis

3. I separate the actual evidence of the situation from my beliefs and turn them into clear, neutral facts that help me better understand what's at stake.

4. I surrender the facts to God, ask for his wisdom and guidance, and remind myself of His goodness in my life

5. I plan out practical next steps that give me clarity, such as breaking down the facts into small actions steps, linking them up into small time frames and being honest with others and myself about what I can and should do.

Dream. Plan. Results

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